Richie

This article explores how Richard Ramirez’s extensive history of head trauma and a mismanaged seizure disorder likely shaped his neurological and psychological development, influencing his behavior long before he was labeled the “Night Stalker.”

On February 29, 1960, at 2:07 a.m., at Providence Memorial Hospital in El Paso, Texas, a dark-haired, dark-eyed baby boy entered the world at a healthy 9 pounds, 6 ounces. Ricardo Munoz, as he would be called, was the fifth and youngest child of Julian and Mercedes Ramirez.

Below is a medical chart detailing his health after birth.

* Ramirez was reportedly born on the 29th of February; however, all legal documents give his date of birth as February 28th.

Richard Ramirez, affectionately known to his family as Richie, grew up in a close-knit bilingual home and was doted upon by his big sister, Rosa. By all reports, he was a happy, healthy baby and toddler.

“Richard was a happy and healthy child. He loved music and animals. He was sweet natured.”

– Declaration of his mother, Mercedes Ramirez, document 20.5.

He loved music and dancing, so much so that at the age of two, he climbed on a dresser to reach a radio, and the dresser fell on top of him, causing a large cut to his head and a concussion. This would be the first of several head injuries Richard would sustain as a child and an adolescent.

Timeline of head injuries

  • When he was five, Ramirez was at a local park and walked in front of a swing, was hit, and knocked unconscious.
  • At the age of ten, he suffered a blow to the head while playing in a football game and concussed.
  • Age 14: Richard fell from a moving train and was knocked unconscious; The fall exacerbated the ongoing headaches he was already experiencing.
  • Age 18: Richard was thrown from a horse and admitted to the hospital for broken ribs, a fractured wrist, and a head injury.
  • Age 19:  Richard got into a fight while employed at the Holiday Inn. He received severe injuries to his face and head and his eyes were swollen shut.
  • Age 25: On the day he was arrested, Ramirez was repeatedly beat over the head with a metal pipe causing more trauma and necessitating multiple stitches to his head.

It’s quite clear from his history he suffered several brain injuries, all during a time in which the human brain undergoes significant development. As a direct result, Ramirez started having seizures at the age of ten. The seizures would have a direct impact on his functioning.

Below is his school report showing good grades.

Below: Richard Ramirez’s certificate showing excellent attendance. He would later become a truant.

“Richard was something of a loner from the time he was a little boy. He was more likely to play alone than to play with other children. Richard was a very quiet boy and never a trouble maker in his early years. He was more likely to tell on his brothers and sister than to get into any trouble.”

– Declaration of Mercedes Ramirez, document 20.5.

Epilepsy Diagnosis

Many years later, after his arrest as the alleged Night Stalker, Richard was examined by multiple specialists that determined he suffered from a seizure disorder specifically known as temporal lobe epilepsy. This seizure disorder contributed to many of the symptoms Richard experienced since he was a child and a teenager, such as headaches, insomnia, and depression.

“Beginning at age ten, close in time after he sustained a concussion playing football, Petitioner [Ramirez] began to suffer epileptic seizures. He suffered at least three convulsive epileptic seizures at school … and numerous other epileptic seizures outside of school. Petitioner was twice hospitalized at Hospital Hotel Dieu following seizures: once in 1970, at age 10, and once in 1972, at age 12.

In 1972, doctors diagnosed him with epilepsy and prescribed Phenobarbital to control the seizures. EEGs administered at the time revealed abnormal results, which confirmed a diagnosis of epilepsy or seizure disorder.


Petitioner suffered at least serious convulsive epileptic seizures and continued to experience such seizures until he was seventeen years old.”

– Declaration of Marilyn Cornell, exhibit 103.

He also suffered from absence seizures from the age of ten.

“From the age of ten on, he experienced partial or absence epileptic seizures – characterized by brief periods of staring into space, unaware of his surroundings – multiple times a day.”

– Declaration of Marilyn Cornell, exhibit 103.

The Phenobarbital Ramirez was prescribed had several adverse effects, such as nausea, vomiting, confusion, dizziness, irritability, depression, severe drowsiness, and sedation. He took the drug for approximately 18 months.

In the 1970s, there weren’t as many treatment options for seizure disorders as there are today. Still, there were others with fewer adverse effects, so we aren’t sure why phenobarbital was selected. Phenobarbital is no longer used as a first-line seizure treatment because of its adverse effects.

The phenobarbital caused Ramirez to have difficulty staying awake at school, affected his ability to complete schoolwork and prevented him from playing football. Around the age of 13, he stopped taking medication because of the side effects and began to experiment with drugs, specifically marijuana. His drug usage started as a means to self-medicate symptoms of the seizure disorder. Ramirez would later say marijuana helped alleviate the headaches and insomnia he experienced.

Before the onset of seizures, Ramirez had been a good student and did not get in trouble at home or school. He had a good attendance record and received good grades. It was after the seizure disorder began that he began to struggle both in school and at home. With the onset of seizures began a constellation of symptoms that Ramirez would suffer with for the rest of his life.

Brief overview of temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE)

To understand the full implications of Ramirez’s neurological symptoms, it’s important to examine the nature of his diagnosis.

During both normal awake and sleep states, our brain cells produce electrical activity. If the electrical activity in many brain cells becomes unsynchronized, a seizure can occur. If this happens in one area of the brain, it’s called a “focal seizure.” A temporal lobe seizure is a “focal seizure” that originates in the temporal lobe area of the brain. There are many causes of temporal lobe seizures and one of those causes is traumatic brain injuries. Temporal lobe epilepsy can cause many neurological and psychological complications, including behavioral changes.

Ramirez’s sister described his behavior as follows:

“After the seizures began, I noticed changes in Richie’s eating and sleeping habits. Richie stopped sleeping at nights. Instead, he stayed up all night. He began drinking Coke and eating candy and cookies obsessively. If he could not find Coke or candy in the house, he would go out on his bike to the store, even late at night, to get some. He no longer seemed to care about school. Around this time, his grades began to drop, and I often saw him smoke marijuana. Richie told me that he smoked marijuana to get rid of his headaches and that it helped him sleep because otherwise he couldn’t sleep.”

– Declaration of Rosa Ramirez, document 20.5.

Symptoms of TLE

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Memory impairments
  • Vivid hallucinations
  • Hyper-religiosity
  • Blank stare or “staring into space.”
  • Compulsions
  • Headaches
  • Insomnia
  • Paranoia
  • Fetishes

After Ramirez started having seizures, he experienced every one of these symptoms at some point in his life. Several of the problems he experienced were directly or indirectly a result of the untreated/improperly treated seizure disorder he experienced. The seizures not only caused physical ailments, like headaches and insomnia, but they also caused many other issues, such as depression, anxiety, paranoia, and delusional thinking. As a result, Ramirez began using drugs for relief. In other words, he “self-medicated.”

After moving to California at 19, Ramirez began using cocaine. Cocaine is highly addictive and causes stimulation of the central nervous system. As such, it will cause the user to experience an elevated mood. Given his history of depression (this will be discussed in a future article), it makes sense that this would become the drug he abused the most throughout his life. He was attempting to alleviate the depression symptoms through the use of cocaine and became addicted.

This is not to make excuses for Ramirez’s drug use but merely an attempt to show that he began using drugs to treat physical and emotional pain (this will also be addressed in future articles).

“Rarely do we find people who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experiences. A hurt is at the center of all addictive behaviors.”

– from In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate.

Kaycee

184 responses to “Richie”

  1. The amount of head injuries he received is unbelievable. A really well written post, with good information.

    Liked by 7 people

  2. It seemed like everything that happened to him came with a hit to the head. It’s a wonder he survived childhood after the dresser incident.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I know, it’s truly awful. When you look at the symptoms he exhibited in his adult life, it’s clear to see how he was effected.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It really is. How one person survived so many head injuries and was still able to function is a miracle indeed.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “After moving to California at 19, Richard began using cocaine. ”
    I have a question regarding his cocaine addiction. I don’t really know where to post it, so I try it here . Several of Richard’s ‘friends’ said that he started to inject cocaine in the 80s, that he needed cocaine for 500 $ a day etc. Then, I believe it was in Carlo’s book, was said that he had stopped taking cocaine (on his own, which would be really hard if not almost impossible for the most of the addicts). Then there is this mugshot from his arrest, where you can see his naked upper body including his arms. The quality of the foto Is not the best… So, can we see any fresh needle marks in this foto? Shouldn’t his arms be full of fresh needle marks if he was a heavy cocaine consumer? Did he stop taking cocaine? Did he just stop injecting it? If he stopped taking it, why was he anyway messed up enough to commit all the horrible crimes, they claim he committed? Why did he still need so much money and had to do a lot of burglaries? His situation should have become better, but apparently got only worse. I really don’t understand all that. Do you have more/more specific information about his drug use in 1985? He was in jail in December 1984/January 1985. Maybe he couldn’t get drugs in jail and that helped him to stop. But if that was the case , than all that “fueled by cocaine while commiting the crimes” wouldn’t make sense.

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    1. On the photo that shows a close-up of his wrist/hand injury, you can see some little scabs, which I thought could have been needle marks. But yeah I don’t think he’d be able to quit easily at all; if someone is self-medicating, they’d need to solve their other issues as well as weaning themselves off drugs and most can’t do that without some intervention, but yeah I heard that too.
      What I don’t understand is that he allegedly stole $30,000 in Thai jewellery from Somkid Khovananth, yet just a month later he’s begging Felipe Solano for $1,000. No way did he blow $30k on coke! But no, we don’t have more information. It’s a mystery area. I know he was doing ‘speed balls’ in the summer on 1984 though, according to Eva Castillo.

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      1. I really don’t know what to think about Richards drug use in 1985. Richard had kind of a strong will. (“If he wanted to do something, he did it.”) So, maybe he really succeeded in quitting taking drugs (or at least cocaine). But then, why all the crimes anyway? And he looked really messed up the day of his capture. Regarding the $30.000: Who knows, which was the real worth of the jewelry since it came from her brother (if I remember it correctly) who was a jeweler himself. Maybe they exaggerated a bit. Then, if you steal jewelry you get only a small percentage of the real worth. And Richard wasn’t good at making prices. Let’s say he got only 10% of the $30 k., that would be $3.000, an amount that can be spent easily on cocaine in a few days. That’sthe problem with cocaine.. If you take heroin for example you are high for a while (maybe you even fall asleep or you can’t even move) and after that you feel quite normal for another while. The effect of cocaine lasts only for a few minutes and after that you fall into “a hole” and feel bad. So you want the next dose within an hour or so. And if you invite someone because you don’t want to get high alone, your money is gone even faster.

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      2. Many people reported Richard as being a loner. I doubt he really cared about doing cocaine alone. But maybe I am wrong. He doesn’t appear as someone who is high on cocaine would on the day of his arrest. Or as someone who just came off a high. So, I am not sure what you mean by the statement “he looked really messed up the day of his capture.” He certainly was a mess in that he had spent an entire night on a bus, probably couldn’t sleep either. Then he saw his picture on the front page of the newspaper and started running for his life. Then he was beaten over the head. By the time we see him, he’s been running for miles, he’s sleep deprived, food-deprived, sweaty, and bleeding.

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      3. I meant generally in a bad condition. Very skinny, almost emaciated, very nervous etc. sure, also because of the stress of the hours before his arrest, but not only because of that. It looked as if he had a hard time fore weeks or months. (which he of course had while living on the streets) He looked way better in December 1984 and he looked way better after some month in jail (in 1986 and later) That’s what I meant.
        Regarding getting high with someone… Yes, he always stated he was a loner, but that’s only partially true. He always did hang out with other people. Like the Greggs and Armando in SF or Eva Castillo, Cuba and the other guys around Solano in LA.. He also took drugs with his brother, smoked marijuana with his sister and other people in El Paso. That loner-thing was more about the quality of his relationships, not about their quantity. He knew really a lot of people, wherever he lived. I also thought of getting high with some women maybe (prostitutes or other drug addicts)

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      4. I agree, he looked vastly different than the 84 mugshot, Rosa said she struggled to recognise him, so there was deterioration.
        He did seem to be constantly around others, perhaps he struggled with some kind of social awkwardness, but he was hanging out with a lot of different people, for sure.
        He and Patricia Kassfy seem to have had a comfortable relationship, in particular.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Yes, I didn’t know that Patricia and Richard still were in contact in LA. She seems to be a really nice person.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Until 1979, when she moved away. I am sad for her, because she only seems to have good memories of him, but they’re all tainted now.

        Liked by 4 people

      7. Yes she does, she seems really caring.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. He seems to have been “most” comfortable with those he knew from El Paso, Patricia K and of course, Armando.

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      9. Yeah there is a distinct difference between that Dec 1984 image and his arrest footage. His face is hollow and bonier than before and Donna Myers said he was worried about his weight loss. Even Rosa and Ignacio said they didn’t recognise him because he’d changed so much.
        According to Carlo, Sandra Hotchkiss said he lived with two lesbians. All three of them could have done drugs with him. We know Eva did.

        I have this feeling he was trying to fix himself somewhat, as he must have known he was slipping into ‘trouble’ with drugs, with all those supplements he had in his bag, and trying to get his teeth sorted.

        Liked by 5 people

      10. Yes, exactly… the weight gainer, all the dentist appointments (for which he had to pay too). It really looks as if he tried to fix himself.

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Yeah, I absolutely agree with this.

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      12. He may have gotten “high” with others. He also seems to have spent a lot of time alone, if we can believe the reports of his acquaintances. It seems he had a few people here and there in the places he went to that he associated with. I wouldn’t call him emaciated. He was certainly thin when he was arrested.

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      13. Basically, being homeless, dependent on drugs, not eating properly would cause physical and emotional stress on the body.

        Liked by 2 people

      14. Amongst his possessions in that bag was a bottle of goldenseal capsules. Goldenseal has a lot of uses, including antibacterial, respiratory problems, sore gums, etc, but some studies have shown it can detoxify the liver, whilst other studies say it can mask the effect of some drugs. I wonder why Richard had it, it could have been for many reasons but I always wonder what he was specifically taking it for.

        Liked by 3 people

      15. When I mentioned the jewellery, I was of course being hypothetical. I’m not of the belief he committed these crimes. For that case as a standalone, I need more evidence than “The victim said curly hair and stained teeth” and a strangely placed shoe print!

        Liked by 3 people

      16. I still don’t know what to think. The more research I did the more questions I had. That’s all I can say right now.

        Liked by 3 people

      17. Same! Nightmare of a case!

        Liked by 2 people

      18. Same here. There are so many inconsistencies in this case, the constant embellishments, fabrications, and it is has to be completely obvious to anyone who’s looked into it that what happened in 89 was a travesty. That was a show trial and nothing more, they struck gold because he had the worst defence team in history. A rich guy would have hired lawyers that would have blown that case to pieces. There are too many question marks over that “evidence”.

        Liked by 2 people

      19. And the more research you do, the more questions you will have. At least that has been my experience.

        Liked by 3 people

    2. Great question and another mystery. We don’t have much specific information about his drug use. He did tell Carlo in the interviews that he had used cocaine, but there weren’t any details. I agree that if Richard was using cocaine heavily at the time of his arrest he would have had fresh needle marks on his arms. There’s a news article interview in the San Francisco Examiner with a guy who stayed at the Cecil during the same time period Richard did in 1985. He stated he could often smell marijuana coming from Richard’s room. So it’s likely he was smoking marijuna during this time period also. This would have definitely been a cheap drug for him to get. However, it wouldn’t have the same effects that cocaine would. Cocaine is a drug that people with a lot of money use because it’s too costly for those who have limited financial means. Richard definitely self-medicated and quitting cocaine or any drug like that is difficult without support. But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I’ve met people through my job that have quit various drugs without formal support programs. I’ve always found his body language in the short clips of him in court shortly after his arrest interesting. He does not appear as someone who is withdrawing from cocaine would. He seems anxious, fidgety, and “all over the place.” Because cocaine is a stimulant, you would see the opposite when someone is withdrawing from it, they are lethargic, very tired, withdrawn, and in a “slump”. I’ve read in various places that Richard had symptoms of anxiety. If that’s the case, then marijuana may have had a soothing effect on him and helped decrease anxiety. This would make sense since he was very anxious appearing in those early court appearances.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, I totally agree and partially had the sam thoughts. But doesn’t marijuana make you lazy and peaceful somehow? I “knew” only one cocaine addict, who also lived on the streets. He was a really smart guy, but totally nervous, jumpy and paranoid. He was always like that, I couldn’t say if he was high or not (only by his pupils maybe). But I didn’t know him well, just met him now and then on the streets or at a center with social workers etc for drug addicts (where I visited another person with drug problems). I really don’t get it. That was also what made me start my research. If I looked at Richard I just couldn’t imagine him doing all the horrific things that the Night Stalker had done. I thought: Ok, maybe when he was under the influence of certain drugs… But which drugs if not cocaine?

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Is that why you started? I was going to ask you. For me it was finding a news article from March 85 that said all the child victims had indecently described a guy of approx 5ft9 with dirty blonde hair. That’s what started it, because nothing made sense.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. If you would see my first boyfriend or even the singer I had a (totally innocent) crush on, when I was 9 years old, you’d understand. He is so perfectly my type, if I had met him in 1984/1985 I would have “followed him everywhere”. My alarm bells didn’t ring at all. And they ring often if I come across someone who could put me into trouble (and especially when someone is violent or has violent tendencies). So I had to admit to myself that I’d have dated a(n alleged?) serial killer. That of course somehow shocked me. How is that possible? I’m not hybristophile. That’s why I started my research. But it wasn’t only about his looks, he also said some things in his interviews that made me believe that we have similar views on the world regarding some things (and I’m not talking about violence or drugs or crimes, it’s about philosophy somehow and, no, not about Satan either 🙂 ) But although he was my type, I wouldn’t have been blind. If I’d have noticed that he had a drug problem I’d have kept my distance, because I know that I can’t deal with that.

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      4. It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it? I wanted to know (back then) “What the f*ck happened to you? How did you end up there?”
        The research took me in directions I never expected, and I happen to agree with Richard when he told Randall Martin that it was all “politics”.

        Liked by 3 people

      5. The title of my tumblr blog was “Black mirror” . That’s what Richard had become to me. He somehow showed me the world and the people around him or around myself with whom I talked about him, like in a pretty clear, but black mirror. That mirror just showed the darker sides of people or of our society pretty clear. If that makes sense.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. I am sad that I never saw your blog, it’s a shame it got banned.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. It’s a shame, but yours is way better. Much more info and it’s more organized too.

        Liked by 2 people

      8. Thank you for that, let’s just say we’ve spent a long time doing this, with a few sleepless nights here and there.

        Liked by 2 people

      9. I will never forget the beginning of my search for the truth. It all began with Covid and a “Very Scary People” marathon that left me saying ” WTF” and where’s the rest of the story.

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      10. RE: Weed, yes that’s what I’ve heard. When I was a student, I lived with an addict who experimented with many drugs. He was jumpy, agitated, paranoid. He mostly smoked weed, but did cocaine, mushrooms and mescaline and would act quite bizarre but I never felt unsafe around him, he would trip peacefully. I see Ramirez as sort of the same type of person; a harmless stoner who experimented with hallucinogens. Someone with mental issues who self medicated. The guy I knew eventually committed suicide.

        Liked by 2 people

      11. That’s sad. But, yes, suicide, not homicide. And regarding Richard, as you (or rather Jay) said in the Man-Child post, nobody really feared him when he was in jail/prison. He wasn’t violent or physically threatening. He was much more subtile when he wanted to scare someone (away). If you think of the crime scene pics he had and he just said “There is blood behind the Night Stalker”. It worked and it wasn’t incriminating either because he didn’t talk in first person. That’s quit smart in my opinion.

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      12. It was certainly a way of getting them to leave him alone, I suppose.

        Liked by 2 people

      13. Yes, it was a maximum (or at least sufficient) effect with a minimum of effort. That’s kind of typical for Richard. And, yes, it was in self defense.

        Liked by 2 people

      14. Marijuana does make some people lazy but for people it just decreases their anxiety. There are also cases where marijuana has caused psychosis in some people.

        Liked by 2 people

      15. Amphetamines do the same thing as cocaine only to a lesser degree. And are cheaper.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. Maybe he had access to those. Who knows? I haven’t read that anywhere but there’s so much about him that’s a mystery.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish his siblings had a little bit of maturity to not get him involved with drugs or shady characters. Younger siblings are extremely impressionable and at least partially depend on the advice and actions of older siblings to help them operate in and navigate this complex world. I don’t blame them entirely because I believe that in most things in life we have personal choice, but they should have tried to lead him down a more positive path knowing the problems that he would go through if he got into these things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s upsetting to read the statement from Ignacio (I think) where he said Juliàn asked him why he hadn’t taught Richard to get “really high” and that he’d been taught how to inject drugs. You’d think an older brother would warn him not to make the same mistakes but I guess they were so cracked out that they were unable to think rationally. I know Robert and Juliàn have learning disabilities. People blame Richard for “choosing to go off the rails” but when you have older brothers and cousin’s teaching him how to break into cars and shoot up doesn’t leave him with much choice. Especially as he was already on that self-medicating path in his mid teens and developing brain damage. They might deny responsibility but the whole lot of them should take some blame.

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      1. That made me angry, Julian, what a waster!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “your number’s coming up!”

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  5. Yes he never really had a proper male role model or a proper role model in general who would have taken him down a good path in life. I feel that he had a lot of good things to offer this world but both his personal problems and family problems prevented him from reaching his best potential. His family and friends failed him, educational and rehabilitation institutions failed him, the justice system failed him, and society itself failed him. His story should be used as an example to show people what happens when children fall through the cracks and aren’t given the support they need physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s an extreme example but I hope at least that it will encourage parents and society itself to be more attentive and caring of children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really damn tragic. I’m just putting in all the citations in the book and came across a Texas Youth Council assessor saying he had a charisma about him and he has potential to positively influence others. They suggested vocational training, Karate teaching and help finishing school for him, but he received nothing. That made me sad.
      His mother threw him out when he was released from TYC because he was selling weed, but it’s unsurprising he went back to crime because the support suggestions never materialised.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I found those reports so difficult to read, he wanted help, and had potential, but he was failed. The bit where he talks about his wish for prison reform and love and happiness. It’s sad he mentioned love and happiness again in that non-starter interview with Watkiss. Something he seems to never have known.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I found writing up Cornell’s report hard and distressing. he was failed, right from the very beginning. His background was truly awful, and it’s hard to imagine growing up in such a dysfunctional situation.

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  6. I hate it when people say “ oh I’ve had the same thing happen to me like Richard did but I didn’t turn into a killer” etc…. To me thats so selfish to say! Ofc course drugs are bad yes but how can you compare your life with his? Ask yourself this…

    did he have the same support as you did?

    did you have a crazy cousin teaching you bad shit and shooting his wife in front of you?

    did you have abusive brothers whom are teaching you how to get high and steal?

    do you have the same mental and medical problem as he has?

    are you homeless as he was?

    and the kids goes on! Eveyone deals with shit Richard was just unlucky with his life sadly from start to end and people just find excuses to make him the bad guy, this “evil face” if he had prior support help and role models in his life we wouldn’t be having this convo!

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    1. People have different thresholds as to how much they can handle. In Richard’s case he experienced and saw some of the most horrific things a person can. You can’t compare people’s experiences and judge someone for acting differently.

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      1. Exactly that’s how I say and also what I say! Poor Richard anyone in his situation would act the way he did even me! People need to stop comparing his life with theirs!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree if his family and TYC actually did what they were supposed he would’ve ended up way better off. No one cared or seemed to want to put in any effort. A common theme in this case.

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      1. I’m telling you it’s cuz he was from the minority group!

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      2. I agree him being from a minority group definitely contributed to people not wanting to him. They saw him as a another ‘troubled Mexican criminal’. Mental health is also a subject that seems to be heavily stigmatized in the Hispanic/Latino. For fear of being judged they may have not wanted to seek treatment.

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      3. That is so wrong tho! You can find trouble criminals in every countries! And the the not being judged part even in my country mental health isn’t taken seriously my family they are from Syria!

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      4. Yea in my opinion the Western world seems to take it a bit more seriously (not enough tho). I know in South Asia that they don’t even acknowledge it. If our bodies get sick so does our brains. Your not a crazy person if you need to talk to someone about your problems or take medication to produce more serotonin. People can be do dense sometimes.

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      5. You’re from South Asia where?! Also yes I agree with you! People just don’t take mental health that seriously at all they think people dealing with this are crazy and not normal which is not true at all!

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      6. I am originally from Sri-Lanka, it’s a small island south of India. I immigrated to the US when I was 5 years old with my family.

        Everyone experiences some type of mental illness throughout their lives. For some people these experiences are more intense and prolonged than they should be. It should be normalized and we should be kinder to one another.

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      7. Oh wow cool! I’m actually half Indian/ half Syrian haha!

        I totally agree where we come from, what religion, skin color and especially how much money we have shouldn’t matter if Richard was taken care of properly and given the right kind of attention and help he would be in this mess! Mental health isn’t a joke! I’ve never ever heard of any criminals other than Richard that has high suicidal thought! And people in that state are sooo easy to take advantage of.

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      8. I bet other criminals were like that too because I think it takes a certain degree of not caring about yourself or your life to get to the point of committing crimes. But Richard’s mental illnesses were a lot more obvious than most peoples.

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      9. Oh most definitely! But then again not everyone dealing with mental health will commit crimes I just feel you have to be in a certain state example Richard to do such things and tbh it not his fault at all I blame everyone around him! But even some criminals who don’t have mental problems still can commit crimes. When Richard said we are all capable of killing one another or something like that I agree it’s just some of us have the control while others don’t!

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      10. Yea I wish they let him talk more on that show (not that it would’ve helped with his trial or anything). I agreed with what he was saying in that at some point in time people have thought about harming someone else. Their moral values and everyday responsibilities and commitments make them think twice. I don’t think there was anything malicious or sinister in what he said he was just pointing out that unfortunately things like murder are more common than people think and that everyone is capable of it. Maury was just rude and kept cutting him off. That episode was shady.

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      11. oh For sure! That show was messed up and he was laughing how rude can you be to invite someone to the show all to point and laugh at him on what he’s saying even if he in a criminal! I get that cuz in his state a lot of the things he says are nonsense or doesn’t make sense or are disorganized and disordered but still some things he does say do make sense! No one one was willing to hear him out on anything! They turned him and his words into soemthing so sinister and that’s so annoying and makes me really mad!

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      12. Yeah, what he said is perfectly reasonable, but coming from him, “the evil killer”, people assume he’s justifying his actions. Made worse by victims being on that show.

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  7. I know people will probably be pissed at me for saying this. But I don’t understand why his parents kept having kids while knowing that they had a difficult financial situation and several disabled and sick kids. I am absolutely not saying that they should’ve refrained from having kids altogether or that their children being sick and disabled is their fault. But they should’ve rectified these problems before having more children. So they can give them the best life possible. IDK maybe it makes sense to me because I came from a similar impoverished migrant/immigrant background.

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    1. We’ve actually said that among ourselves, too. It makes no sense to me.

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      1. I know that the incident with border patrol probably destroyed their trust with the general American system, but I wish they had put their pride aside and taken advantage of whatever help and resources they could find. It would’ve made things a lot easier. I was reading one of the psychological evaluations in his writ and it was mentioned that Richard was referred to mental health professional and the family simply didn’t appointments. I know their lack of education and trust probably had something, but at some point you have to do what is right for your kids.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I know, and when the mental health team tried to call the house and got Mercedes, she didn’t understand them, or if she was given a message to call them back to make an appointment, she failed to do so.
        Ignacio stated they would be taken into Mexico for injections from the local shaman instead.

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      3. I’m not trying to offensive to anyone’s culture or anything, but stuff like that can be extremely dangerous it might’ve even worsened their conditions.

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      4. Yeah, I think a lot of “folk medicine” is actually very interesting and I like to learn, but I think Richard really needed that mental health follow up as well. He was willing to go back, according to the reports.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. He was asking for help and no one noticed.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Ahh, Eddie Milam.

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    1. Ya him! Don’t trust his words or is he also like the others cuz idk anymore haha many have lied about him so idk who to trust

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  9. I think he could be referring to Gloria.

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    1. Oh damn really?! Poor Richard even his gf abused him omg

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    2. I wonder if the girl he said he was in love with at 15 ad was with for 3 years is Gloria cause he met Nancy when he was around 17 I think. But idk.

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      1. I assume it is Gloria. His friends in the documents seem to be talking about his mid-teens when they mention him hanging out at Gloria’s. And he was with Nohemi (Nancy) until he left for California at 19. I read that she told him she’d find a better man. That’s sad!

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      2. Nancy or Gloria said that?

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      3. Yeah Nohemi. it was in the El Paso Herald Post. 1985.

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      4. Damn he was so insecure. Nothing like the cocky and self-absorbed NS!

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  10. Yes, most definitely. It’s all they want from him. To extract the monster within. All she got was a giggling manchild who was very likeable. So Inside Edition cut that from their 1993 broadcast!

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    1. I’ve noticed that! He kept telling her he can’t answer that and yet she’s still asking him that! Also with that kip guy he claimed I think that Richard told him some things too but I find that hard to believe myself like I don’t believe it at all

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      1. Kip is a creep. Notice how he’s only talking about Richard when he was there for his own heinous crimes. People are just obsessed with Richard including men. He comes across as someone who’d be a jailhouse snitch for special treats!

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      2. Oh most definitely, he got his 15 mins of fame I guess.

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      3. Remember all the hybristos writing to him to get info about Richard?

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      4. And Richard Allen Davis. Horrible!

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      5. He said on camera that he is on death row for double murder and rape. These women are as desperate as Cupcake Cindy. But she was the most desperate.

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      6. They were hoping for inside info, but the bloke just talks shit about demons.

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      7. LOL. They way he judgingly talked about Richard had me rolling my eyes. Like your on death row too my guy.

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      8. One of them was bragging on the old Twitter TCC, she’d written to someone who had a cell near Richard. Remember when Richard was beaten by the bailiffs during the hearing? He had obvious scratches on his face, but, according to this death row guy, he said (now get this) he saw THREE DEMONS go into Richard’s cell in LA County Jail and the next time he saw him, his face was scratched. Sex or Satan, it’s always one where Richard is concerned, just take your pick.

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      9. There is definitely some screws loose in his head.

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  11. Yeah, elements of fantasy creep in. People love to exaggerate stories that start with a grain of truth.

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    1. But also again do you notice how only few people that knew him talking in interviews or paranormal interviews and the rest are just quietly hidden?! Like the ones talking are just there to like you said make up stories?!

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      1. Yeah there are plenty of women he went to school with who have nice stories and it’s a shame they aren’t questioned.

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      2. It seems like they are only questioning and interview people he knew that they know will have made up stories about him or can make up stories about him cuz they know they will be in it for money while other don’t care about the money so you won’t ever see them!

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  12. Yea most of the interview seemed normal and that question popped out and even I laughed. But I have the sense of humor of a teenage boy so

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    1. Same! Ha! (I hope that doesn’t come across on the blog!)

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    2. I’m so I Am not the only one who laughed at that question too ok! 😂

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  13. It’s disturbing just how sexualized he is!

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    1. it’s so sad as well! It’s like all they focus on his his looks and the women more than his true self and most importantly his health they blocked off the important stuff to get people only interested in the shittty stuff like his groupies even he hates that word!😂

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  14. She absolutely was! He shut her up in the end, and began to talk about “other people”.

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    1. idk why they just keep wanting that monster out of his hair to prove what the media said about him how cruel of them!

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      1. That’s exactly what she was doing, trying to get him into a personal chat about sex and violence.

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      2. They just really pushing his buttons all they want is this damn fucking monster so they can say his personality fits the satanic night stalker idk why they only did this with him well I know why but this is just not cool at all! He was so flirting and smiling with her while I read comments in that interview saying his laugh scares me or this is a creepy laugh nothing about Richard scares me and nothing about his laugh is creepy he was just nervous being around a girl he was a shy person after all and just to me seemed very child like. A boy talking to his crush

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      3. Yes, he seemed very young for his age, he didn’t come across as a 33 year old, but then again, that’s hardly surprising, given his mental health problems.

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      4. Of course! And they twisted it and made it seem like he was this crazy person he really wasn’t at all crazy his mental health changed him. My uncle has brain damaged and it changed him!

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      5. He is the type of dude to be giggling in the back of sex ed class from hearing the word penis. It’s hard to have a serious conversation with him let alone talk about that.

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      6. Hahaha! Let’s face it, Richard could hardly be very sexually experienced.

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      7. He’s literally a school boy trapped in a grown man’s body!

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    2. why would they even interview Kip?! That’s what I’m wondering about what on earth did he have anything to do with Richard! Plus Richard said he keeps to himself in prison doesn’t talk with anyone at all

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      1. The woman who interviewed Richard interviewed others, like Kip and even Charlie Manson.

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      2. Ahhh ok gotcha but still why would they even ask kip about Richard! I doubt Richard talked with anyone in prison and especially he didn’t at all open up to anyone so why would he tell Kip anything Kip’s a lying creep

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  15. everyone was pressuring him to talk about that sex and violence shit Mike didn’t but he was pressuring him to just admit to the crimes he missed a great opportunity for sure!

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  16. I’m sure she helped him a lot but her selling a lot of his personal stuff makes me a little uncomfortable. Like his urn. Idk how to feel about it.

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    1. Girl I’m so glad you mentioned that I felt the same way I just thought I was only one! Yes that was indeed weird I saw a YouTuber on his video showing off the things he bought that belonged to Richard Doreen even I think told a chunk of his hair as well from the 1989 trial I saw it on the website full of Richard letters

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      1. I hate this whole business about murderabilia and such. I wrote about it in an paper for school on why people (particularly women) were so interested in serial killers. I saw that someone was trying to sell a knife or something that they suspected Dahmer used on his victims. It’s disturbing to me.

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      2. That’s messed up shit! And for Richard’s case that even sicker cuz he was suffering form mental health problems they just made money out of his sufferings so sad

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    2. Yes, I feel the same way. Part of me admires her for giving up so much to be with him, I think she loved him, she must have done, surely?
      However, the selling of his personal belongings and especially the urn his ashes were in, plus the toe-tag, is just grim and macabre.

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      1. I didn’t know she sold the toe tag as well. That’s so fucked up.

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      2. Yep, both things are now inside a museum in Las Vegas. Gross.

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      3. That genuinely makes me feel sick. It’s just plain disrespectful to a persons existence. They would’ve probably bought his damn skull if he was buried. WTF.

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      4. If he’d been buried, there would not be one bone left in his grave, they would have all be dug up and sold, or used in “rituals”.

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      5. I saw that she was selling his underwear too. The person who bought that is def a sicko.

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      6. Yeah, that is really just vile and disgusting.

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  17. idk why she sold his things tho!

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  18. cuz for alot of people her selling his things give them the impression she was using him for money! Even if she wasn’t I can understand that point

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    1. Maybe she was, no idea. Perhaps she was short of cash, but even so.. yuk.

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      1. That’s seriously gross it’s like even she was making money out of his suffering (maybe) and knowing his things would be worth a lot

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  19. who the fuck is gonna buy an underwear?! Did she actually do that?!

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      1. That’s so gross omg what was she thinking?! These groupies really go crazy over this stuff

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  20. the more and more you dig into this case it not only get dark but it get super sick! This young mentally damaged man was just purely a money grabber for eveyone even his penpals! No one cared about the health, his appeals etc…. Or even gave him a chance to prove is innocence! They kept him around cuz it gave them lots of money and Gil and many other even that jerk Kip! Got his 15 mins of fame! While there a locked up man who wasn’t the night stalker dealing with his mental health alone and untreated I’m sure they did that on purpose to get a reaction out of him to prove to the media that they were right about him! So sick! Poor Richard

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  21. The fact that you can barely talk about this case on other platforms is another sign of proof to me that there are a lot of things being hidden and distorted. I have noticed that often times when something can’t be spoken about it’s because it contains at least a little bit of truth. If Carrillo and others involved in this case are so confident in the verdict and evidence being accurate to the truth. Then why can it not be discussed and constructively criticized. People should not be in fear of being harassed and berated for having any opinion. We are not trying to force our belief of his innocence or guilt on people. His innocence can only truly be determined in a court of law with a fair judge, jury, and trial. We are simply trying to show and discuss that Richard was not given a fair trial and the evidence and testimony used against him were not “strong”. This website should not be the only platform that this case is discussed like this people should be able to and allowed to do it wherever they please as long as it is done in a respectful manner.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. So many people are mass-reported and banned. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook… I used to comment on YouTube but stopped a while ago because my comments would vanish. I’m shadowbanned. The only reason my author pages have survived is probably because I don’t have many followers, so haven’t been reported enough. My partner had a comment instantly flagged by bots because he said it was a miscarriage of justice. I think the systerm flagged “Richard Ramirez”. Also, I think some sites run facial recognition software on him: people have lost accounts just for posting his face. There’s a serious freedom of expression issue here. Even if it was just a crazy conspiracy theory, why can’t people talk about it?

      I think Substack is supposed to be a good freedom of expression blogging site. That might be worth a try. I worry that I will lose all my accounts just for trying to promote the book.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s really screwed up. I would devastated if something that I’ve essentially spent years on was banned and deleted. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for you guys. The lies and falsehoods that have been generated in this case aren’t (weren’t) just harmful to Richard but also his family as well as the surviving victims and their families. I saw a picture of Richard’s brother Nacho with his grandchildren recently and it broke my heart to see them. I can’t imagine the amount of emotional, verbal, and perhaps physical abuse they must’ve gone through in the past few years because of this case. The truths show in the blog that you have created deserves to be shared with the world. Not only to show this case in a new light, but also to prevent stuff like this from happening in the future. I hope that nothing happens to this blog. It’s literally the only place where I can be free to discuss anything about this case. Social media should be a place where everything can be freely discussed as long as you are not harming others. It’s a shame that people are so insecure in their opinions and beliefs that they have to sort to trying to get people banned.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Yes, we have worried about the blog being taken down; we’ve got copies of most of our articles and were thinking (as Venning said) of creating a copy of this on Substack, just in case.
        We’ve both been shadow banned on YouTube accounts and had our comments deleted. You can’t discuss a damn thing unless it’s to repeat the usual crap.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. I think that would be a great idea. You guys have worked far too hard for someone to be a pissy baby and get the site taken down.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh God, we’d go mad. Can you imagine all this work down the drain?

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      5. I’d have to be put in a straight jacket if I were y’all.

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      6. You’d hear the screams reverberate for miles.

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    2. I couldn’t agree more, there is no legitimate reason for disallowing conversations about the trial, it was a legal process, after all, so why can’t the documents be discussed openly? I imagine they would rather not talk about the lack of defence and the lack of strong evidence..

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  22. this is actually getting ridiculous! Who gave them the right to dictate what we have ti say?!

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  23. I was on Tumblr and I came across a very rare post (in my opinion) of someone defending Richard saying how his trial was not fair and that his attorneys were incompetent. It even linked you guys’ blog. Not even a few hours after the post had a community warning on it saying that it was mature content. I had to manually search through my liked posts to find it again. Yet I’ve seen pictures of the gruesome crime scenes that were posted years ago, uncensored by the way, still remain. You really can’t make this stuff up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We see that all the time. Our stuff is banned and accounts that share it get shut down, but the ones showing dead people remain.
      A good friend of ours shares our stuff on her account on Tiktok, she translates it into Spanish. She’s lost 4 accounts so far.
      It’s crazy!

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    2. FFS that’s ridiculous. I’ve noticed that on Facebook. They have facial recognition for him but not the victims’ bodies…you can post the Kneidings corpses but.god forbid you show Richard.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. They didn’t even put his picture in the post. The very mention of his possible innocence seems to flagged.

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      2. Remember that sicko posting all the pics of the deceased an getting off on it? Her stuff is never banned.

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      3. I remember coming across a page that had all of the victims pictures on full display as well some of the nudes that his fangirls/groupies sent him. The moment I saw it I felt sick and I’m not someone that gets easily disturbed. Some people in the tcc community are just not right in the head. I’m really happy that you guys are being respectful and not showing pictures of them on here.

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      4. For me, it was vitally important that we didn’t show the deceased, or blood spattered crime scenes. We didn’t want any of this to be gratuitous, and we certainly didn’t want people coming here to gawp at victims. It wasn’t necessary to include them. There is a “crime scene” photo (usually passed off as the Higgins scene) that isn’t a Night Stalker crime scene at all. It’s just some slightly sick, random “art” installation. But there’s blood (red ink or paint) and 666 on the wall, so all the idiots think Richard did it.

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  24. I actually found you guys through Tumblr. Someone had succinctly summarized a lot of your posts and linked your website. I think it was called @nightbreed.

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    1. Oh we remember her, she practically copied them over in their entirety and gave a tiny link to us at the bottom. lol We don’t mind people sharing, though, as long as they link us, as it gets the info out there. Fairs, fair – right? And at least it brought you here.

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      1. LMAO I was gonna say that the links to you guys’ website were too small. I remember looking at it and thinking there was no way only one person did all that work. I’m surprised that it’s still up tbh.

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      2. Ha ha!! We said any sharing was ok, but PLEASE credit us. I needed a magnifying glass to see our link..

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  25. As a psychology student currently receiving therapy, I’ve noticed that depersonalization is a significant issue in the fields of psychology and psychiatry. While most mental health professionals strive not to define their patients by their disorders or illnesses, once a diagnosis or label is assigned, it often ‘sticks.’ This can lead to the person being viewed solely through the lens of that disorder, leaving them feeling dehumanized and essentially invisible.
    In Richard’s case, it seems that people hyperfixate on his hypersexuality disorder, reducing him to nothing more than a ‘sex-obsessed freak’ and ignoring the other facets of his personality. This narrow view feeds into a damaging narrative where anything he says or does is interpreted through the prism of that disorder.
    In reality, Richard was a man dealing with a range of mental health issues, and his chronic and uncontrollable sexual behavior was exacerbated by the lack of proper medication and he no longer had drugs to self-medicate. This phenomenon isn’t unique to him—it applies to anyone with a mental illness or disorder. When these issues go untreated, they can worsen, forcing individuals to resort to less favorable ways of coping.
    It’s both hypocritical and deeply troubling to mock someone for something largely beyond their control and to see them solely through the lens of their disorder.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for this insightful, thoughtful comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. I reread the book for what feels like the dozenth time, and yet again, a small but significant detail stood out—one I hadn’t noticed before. It stated that Mercedes had essentially made a false claim that Richard’s birth was “uncomplicated.” That struck me because, given everything we already know, how could that possibly be true?

    Throughout her pregnancy, Mercedes was exposed to toxic chemicals and fumes while working under grueling conditions at Tony Lama. These hazardous exposures alone would have posed serious risks, not to mention the myriad of other genetic and environmental factors that could have made her pregnancy anything but smooth. She was also in her 30s at the time, and while women can and do have children at that age, fertility tends to decline, and pregnancies can become more complicated compared to those in their 20s. It seemed unlikely to me that Richard’s birth would have been entirely free of complications.

    Then, I came across something I had completely missed before—Richard was a forceps baby. That fact hit me like a ton of bricks. From what I understand, forceps deliveries are rarely performed in the U.S. today due to the severe risks they pose to both mother and child. The potential complications are horrifying—nerve damage, skull fractures, brain injuries, and long-term developmental issues. Given everything else that was working against him from the start, this detail adds yet another layer to the complex puzzle of his early life.

    What I wanted to ask was: where in the petition does it specify that Richard was delivered by forceps? I’m almost certain I’ve read it before, but with most of his documents being scans, they can be incredibly difficult to decipher. If any of you know the exact section, I’d really appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not in the main body of the petition, I.e document 14.
      It’s on his birth certificate, I think, so it’s in the supporting documents amongst all the family stuff.
      I don’t remember which documents off the top of my head, and I am not on my laptop at the moment.
      If you have no luck I’ll check for you in the morning, let me know.
      Forceps deliveries are not nice, I know from personal experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I looked up the forceps tool out of curiosity, and it looks absolutely brutal. I really hope Mercedes got an epidural or at least some kind of anesthesia because childbirth is already painful enough—but having a baby yanked out with forceps? That sounds downright unbearable.

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      2. It’s very brutal and the babies are often bruised. That’s my personal experience, I won’t go into details on here, obviously.
        Poor Mercedes.

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      3. I wonder what made the doctors decide that forceps delivery was the better option over a standard vaginal birth. Maybe Richard was in the wrong position, or Mercedes was struggling to deliver him naturally. I would’ve thought a C-section would be a more logical alternative, but then again, having your stomach cut open isn’t exactly a walk in the park either. I don’t have personal experience with childbirth, but my mother went through three C-sections to bring my sisters and me into the world, so I’ve heard plenty about how rough the recovery process can be. Either way, it seems like Mercedes didn’t have an easy time delivering Richard, even if she later described it as uncomplicated.

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      4. There are many reasons why it’s done. I only know what happened in my own case. My second child was c-section due to the complications with the first.
        She may have thought it “uncomplicated” but when they intervene with those things, there’s complications alright. They’re getting the child out as quickly as possible.
        Richard seems to have been healthy afterwards but I do wonder what damage is caused that’s not externally visible. My daughter was in special care for 48 hours after that nightmare.

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      5. You mentioned that bruising is often a result of forceps delivery, which got me thinking about how delicate a baby’s head is right after birth. Their skulls are soft and malleable, which makes them more vulnerable to injury. That opens up the possibility of brain damage, which is a concerning thought. It makes me wonder if forceps delivery was more common in the 1960s in the U.S., especially considering how medical practices in general were a bit more outdated back then. Personally, I think birthing practices have only really started improving for both mothers and babies within the last 20 to 25 years, but honestly, I’m not fully educated on the history of it.

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      6. I had a forcep delivery with one of my children. I had no idea how brutal it is until I was in nursing school and witnesed them being used. I was quite shocked when I saw the dr attempt to extract the baby with them, and then when that didn’t work, they did a C section. It was at that moment I realized how painful recovering from a C Section must be. Forcep delivery’s weren’t that unusual in the 1990s, when they were used on my baby. I had no idea of the potential complications at the time. And they sure didn’t tell me during the process. I agree with you that Mercedes pregnancy and delivery with Richard wasn’t complicated. Her pregnancy alone was high risk because of her working conditions and environment. Drs told her to stop working. They don’t tell women that without a good reason. Based on my limited experience in obstetrics, I don’t think Richard was malpositioned as forceps aren’t used for that. If he had been there would probably be something about what’s called a “version” documented in the record of birth. This is when they manually attempt to turn the baby with their hands. From what I’ve heard it’s an extremely painful procedure and no pain meds are given. What likely happened is Richard wasn’t descending thru the birth canal like he should have. So to prevent him from getting stuck, they opted for a forcep delivery. If he had gotten stuck they would have had no other option than a c-section. In the US in the 60s c sections weren’t uncommon. At least not for white women who were frequently put under anesthesia, the baby was delivered, the mother was recovered from the anesthesia and handed her baby. I suspect that Richard’s size was a contributing factor in needing the assistance of forceps. He was a big baby. 9 pounds and 6 ounces. It appears Mercedes was given an intramuscular pain medication but no epidural. I had one of those injections for one of my deliveries and it did absolutely nothing. I felt everything. You are correct in that forcep delivery’s can cause life threatening complications. When I worked in neonatal ICU I saw babies who were forcep delivery’s with brain hemorrhages and swelling of the brain. I have no idea what happened as they got older. Did they experience any development delays later in life? I think it’s very possible.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m trying to look for it. I thought it would be with his birth certificate, but it isn’t. It included stuff about what colour he was when he was born as well (pink!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know the one you mean, it’s the one where the baby has been examined, with all the ticks. I was incorrect about it being his birth certificate.

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    3. I found it! It’s Exhibit 95 in Document 20.3!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you so much! Sorry if I’m being a bother. It’s a bit strange to see it placed alongside victim and police reports.

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      2. The family stuff is weirdly jumbled up in the 7s and 20s. About 2.5 years ago I started to make a list/catalogue of exactly what was in each doc, but never finished.
        I would come across Steve Strong’s stuff mixed in with news reports. It is all over the place.
        Glad Venning found it for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Finding it was a nightmare because I also thought it was in with the birth certificate. It doesn’t help that family documents are in the 7s and 20s. No coherency with it. One of the ballistics reports wasn’t with the others either and I didn’t find it until the book was nearly done!

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  27. It really annoys me when people say Richard “chose” to get into drugs as an adult. We recently had a former commenter “Jaime” having a rant about us on YouTube basically calling us apologists and rambling on about how Richard made the choice to take drugs and “worship the devil.”

    But Jaime or whatever she wants to call herself (Janis? Heidi?) has failed to grasp the fundamentals of his life despite being fixated on him and trawling social media talking about him. He was self-medicating an illness caused by head injuries. That was completely out of his control. And it’s very difficult not to take drugs when you’re surrounded by it, have impaired judgement and are trying to remedy epilepsy when the prescription medication is having adverse effects.

    The satanism might not have been a choice. Given that he thought he was communicating with Satan through an ouija board suggests he was suffering from a psychotic delusion. This is also not a choice. People don’t choose to be mentally ill. He wasn’t some kid trying to be an edgelord to stand out among his peers. He was seriously ill. This is supported by evidence – doctor’s letters – and does not come from being an apologist.

    Some people clearly have difficulty understanding the significance of documents. We are not here for gore-loving hybristophiles. We’re here for critical thinkers. We are here to simplify his life story in places where it’s unnecessarily complicated but conversely we wish to elevate and deepen knowledge where it was previously simplified. There will be people who can’t cope with that and lash out because it’s easier than learning.

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    1. I am so glad you brought this up because it genuinely baffles me how many people still cling to the notion that Richard just “chose” to do drugs or “chose” to worship the devil, as if those were decisions made with full cognitive clarity and free will. People like “Jaime” (or Janis, or Heidi, or whatever name she is going by this week) clearly love to paint in black and white because they lack the patience or intellectual capacity to engage with the gray areas that actually matter. Her whole tirade on YouTube, accusing people of being apologists and ranting about Richard’s so-called choices, just shows how little she understands about trauma, addiction, and mental illness, despite being deeply embedded in online conversations about him.
      Is there ever a sliver of voluntariness when it comes to drug use? Maybe. But that tiny sliver is often drowned in a sea of structural, psychological, and biological factors. Richard’s life was a ticking time bomb from the start. He was surrounded by people he admired and looked up to who were already engaging in drug use, family members, peers, and people he was taught to trust. Layer on top of that a series of traumatic head injuries, unmanaged epilepsy, poverty, neglect, and emotional and psychological abuse, and it does not take a neurologist or psychiatrist to figure out why he ended up self-medicating.
      Addiction is not some fun little hobby. It is a chronic illness. It changes your brain chemistry. Your body begins to physically and psychologically need the substance just to function at a basic level. It becomes as essential as air, water, and sleep. And when you take that away from someone who has been using to cope with extreme psychological distress or trauma, you are not met with clarity or healing, you are met with chaos. The withdrawal alone can be psychologically shattering and physically dangerous. Detoxing without medical support, especially for someone with cognitive impairments like Richard, is not just difficult. It is virtually impossible. And even when you get through that initial phase, relapse is common. That is the ugly, clinical truth of addiction. It is not a failure of willpower. It is a failure of systems to intervene early and compassionately.
      And then there is the satanism. People love to throw that word around like it is some edgy rebellion. But as you said, Richard’s belief that he was communicating with Satan through an ouija board is a massive red flag for psychosis or some form of delusional thinking. That is not someone “trying to be cool” or edgy. That is not someone playing dress up in a leather jacket trying to be a rockstar. That is someone who is seriously unwell. Psychotic delusions do not happen in a vacuum. They are symptoms of underlying disorders, often worsened by trauma, drug use, and neurological damage. And again, this is not speculation, there are actual doctor’s letters and records in the legal documentation that point to this. So the people who roll their eyes and write it off as some goth teenager phase need to grow up and actually read the material before flapping their mouths.
      The people who truly care about this case are not here because we enjoy the gore or want to glamorize a man’s suffering. We are not here to join the parade of hybristophiles or post aesthetic edits of Richard in sunglasses. We are here because the narrative surrounding his life and case has been so grossly mishandled and simplified that it has become a parody of itself. There is a massive difference between blind defense and critical analysis. Wanting to understand someone beyond the headlines does not make you an apologist. It makes you a critical thinker.
      Now let us talk about crime, addiction, and how they interact. Because it is not just about Richard. It is about the systems that fail millions like him every day. Addiction leads to desperation. Desperation leads to crime. The person ends up in jail, is released with no therapy, no support, no stability, and the cycle starts again. Over and over. And we act shocked when our jails are overflowing. We throw people away instead of trying to rehabilitate them. I am not saying there should be no consequences for crime. But consequences without a path toward healing are just cruelty dressed up as justice.
      As you said, people do not choose to be mentally ill. Who in their right mind would voluntarily subject themselves to something so stigmatized, so isolating, so painful? It is absurd to believe that anyone wakes up and thinks, “You know what would be fun? Losing touch with reality, being misunderstood by society, and having every action I take misinterpreted or weaponized against me.”
      We live in a culture that is deeply uncomfortable with nuance. It is easier to call someone evil than to examine the systems that made them suffer. But Richard’s story forces us to confront all of it, trauma, illness, addiction, abuse, poverty, media manipulation, and the limits of our so-called justice system. And for some people, that is just too much to handle. It is easier to regurgitate the headlines and demonize anyone who questions them. But that is not justice. That is intellectual laziness.
      So to people like Jaime and her ilk, I say this: stop mistaking moral superiority for actual understanding. Stop spewing self-righteous garbage and start doing the work. Because if you are not willing to face the full picture, including the parts that make you uncomfortable, you are not here for the truth. You are here to feel better about yourself at someone else’s expense.
      And that, that is not justice. That is just cowardice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, obviously he would have known drugs were bad and he even said as much on the Carlo tapes. But he was surrounded by it from young. The sibling declarations reveal that Rosa, Robert and Miguel all smoked weed around him. Rosa’s husbands also did it, and we know Julian Jr was on heroin. Then you have neighbourhood children like Armando and all his little friend group smoking weed. I think he said in an assessment that he first started smoking it at school. It had been normalised in his upbringing to the point where he just did it.

        I also think certain people have an addictive personality type where they’re more susceptible to addiction to hard drugs. For example those with personality disorders or neurological issues. They’re going to get stuck in that cycle more easily than others. For Richard it’s a combination of factors, not “Imma smoke up just to be cool. Whoops, I’m an addict. Let’s try some harder stuff. Oops, killed someone, that was fun. Satan made me do it.”

        I’ve been learning about fences and how, when taking stolen goods, only give the thief enough for one batch of drugs. They then feel the need to constantly rob houses to get that money to get that fix. They’re not thinking of anything else. Just that hit. How do you get out of that cycle without psychiatric intervention? Something that wasn’t available to Richard.

        This person said that his family were those trying to save him – but how can an intervention be successful when they were the ones who got him into drugs in the first place – see Ignacio’s declaration where he says Julian Jr said he taught Richard to inject. He was clearly running from them. He would rather live in a car in Los Angeles than in his parents’ home, so they were never going to be his salvation.

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    2. Whoever she was she did not appear to have any interest in the case itself as most of her comments were about the women in his life.

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      1. Satan, Doreen, Nohemi, Gloria.

        Basically anyone Richard was interested in. The definition of groupie. How can we be?

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      2. That YouTube comment disappeared once she was called out and provided with her own quotes.

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      3. It’s not even that she can’t grasp our message that bothers me the most. It’s the lying that we’re saying the very things she was saying. It’s the shit-stirring. The way it’s so personal by calling us deluded.

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      4. Yes, she was shit stirring, and desperate for attention from Rosie, forgetting that we had all her comments here. I was angry, as you know, because she wasn’t speaking our truth, but her own; her hybro projection.

        Nowhere on this blog do you, me or Kaycee ever say he was innocent. We never have, so she was wrong about that, too.

        I was annoyed because she never had any interest in the case, she didn’t care nor did she try to learn. She was here to talk about sex, sexual abuse, his groupies, his nieces and everything that we have never been particularly focussed on. She did not have to intelligence to apply critical thinking, clinging to what she knew; namely Carlo. I am not even bothered about that, loving Carlo’s book didn’t get her the ban; the lying did.

        Jaime/Heidi/Janis does not understand the first thing this site is about, she never did.

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      5. And we don’t call him “Richie” either – except when referring to what his family call him, hence KayCee’s title. We humanise without infantilising.

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      6. Also her comment saying we believe all the police conspired to frame Richard made me laugh. She’s misunderstood everything. Most detectives were following their superior’s orders in good faith. It only took Gil convincing Salerno to set the ball rolling. We never say the entire force was working on a big conspiracy. Dense girls don’t understand dense subjects.

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      7. She’s missed everything. It’s clearly written on the front page what we’re about.

        She’s very dumb, don’t dwell on it.

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      8. Jaime/Heidi/Janis picks an alias to suit her audiences.

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